I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
