There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
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I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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