Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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