No, you can still breathe under the balls.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
