spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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