Just took my morning after pill in the library
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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