How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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