How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
