I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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