Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
