Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
