I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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