the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
