Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
