at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
