Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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