Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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