he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
A+ Viking dick
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
