she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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