We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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