And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
