i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
