i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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