Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
