Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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