this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
