weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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