So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
