no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
