i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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