Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize