Do vagina's smell?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
