oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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