The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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