Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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