The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yo dont text me then not text me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
