let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
