i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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