the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it hurts more in the daytime
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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