Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
