Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is classic penis vs brain.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
