I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The air taste purple.
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