I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
