I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
