she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
