do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize