White coat. Heels.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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