She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
