So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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