he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
