guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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