My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Damn victory sex feels great
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
