Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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