He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
