your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
