I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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