i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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