i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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