I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
