Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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