One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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